I've had two intimate relationships with women who were molested as young girls. As adults, one had trouble with certain sexual acts and would get angry about sex in general. Another dissociated and heard voices later in her life and was insanely jealous and traumatized if I even talked to another woman. I'm sure sometimes the effects of being raped as a child (molestation is a euphemism for rape) can be worse than these two experienced. Why does being raped, especially as a child, produce so much psychological damage?
A friend of mine (who was molested as a young boy) thinks that not only are pedophiles lurking everywhere, but that COVID-19 is a covert operation (part of Trump's swamp clearance) to find them and arrest them. According to him (and how many others?) the pope and 100 cardinals or so have already been arrested, and Hollywood and the Clintons are next. Weinstein and Epstein were just the beginning. And they're Jews which proves to some modern day witch hunters that history's favorite scapegoat is still at the root of all perceived evil ;-). What is the source of the belief that someone is to blame for all our problems?
Another friend (who is in his late 60s) was arrested for possession of underage porn (I don't know how old the women or girls were, whether they were post puberty or not). He is one of the gentlest and caring people I know. He would never rape a child or an adult. He was just curious and downloaded stuff for free. He was also lonely and missing intimacy and sex. He spent 8 months in jail with mostly unsavory characters and was suicidal at times. He is a gardener and was confined in a concrete building. He now bears the stigma of having to register as a sex offender and is not welcome into many communities thus exacerbating his loneliness. In the 2013 Danish movie The Hunt, a school teacher is wrongly accused of child molestation and is subject to brutal violence from his friends and co-villagers. Where does the desire to severely punish and hurt people who are perceived as child molesters come from? Is it the same as the medieval desire to burn women who have gifts of healing and are less repressed than catholic priests with their sexuality? Why hasn't the same level of violence been directed towards the catholic priests who recently almost certainly did molest boys? Why is the catholic church such a breeding ground for child molestation? Why do actual child molesters do what they do? What motivates them? And how does rape of a pre-pubescent boys and girls evolve, if sex is mostly about reproduction and these children can't produce offspring?
An acquaintance who was a competent green builder and longtime member at a neighboring intentional community was accused of child molestation by a child known to confabulate and who had other cognitive issues. Some of the other children got on the bandwagon and accused him too. There were things like unintentional touching of genitals while throwing kids into the water, with everyone naked as was the community norm while bathing in the lake in summer, which immediately incriminated him with the police. He swears he never molested any of the children and is believed by half the community, while most of the other half hates him. He left and his life, the life of the children (even if they were not molested) and the community will probably never be the same again. I do not know if he molested anyone or not, and I am not condoning child molestation. I am curious about the hatred he experienced, where does it come from? Is it the same in other kinds of witch hunts? Is it just an immune response of the community to a perceived threat?
I will attempt to answer these questions with proposed hypotheses, some of which have some support, some of which are not supported by available evidence, and some which need testing.
1. Could the SS be united by pedophilia? That was a sarcastic question. The answer is almost certainly no. Though common enemies do offer sources of unification throughout history. Even if there was unification, it would only be temporary, as there are too many sources of real differences that will remain. Maybe if Jesus came back, or even Thomas Jefferson, we could become the US again.
2. Why does being raped, especially as a child, produce so much psychological damage? For two reasons:
A. Rape in general is psychologically damaging to a soul. Sharing our bodies and souls during sex is a sacred gift that is violated by rape, taken without consent. For children it may be especially damaging since they have not learned of the sacred aspect of sex yet, and so now all they know is this desecration of their bodies and souls. They do not know yet what it means to consent to sharing the gift of themselves.
B. The natural development of children proceeds towards individuation away from their mother and family. Sex on the other hand goes the other direction, towards a unification of two bodies and souls. So raping a child interferes with this natural process. However, the age of consent depends on the individual child. Government burocrats try to simplify their lives by coming up with a one size fits all age (18 in US, but it varies in other countries). I think if a post-pubescent child understands what sex involves, beyond the physical aspects of it, and if their individuation process is mature, then they could consent to having sex, and this should not be legislated on a national scale, but on a small community scale. In some cultures, children under 18 are taught (by practice) about sex from more experienced adults. I'm not advocating breaking the law, but I think we'd have a healthier society if the law was changed, allowing small communities to legislate this.
3. What is the source of the belief that someone is to blame for all our problems?
Scapegoating is a useful way for people to feel better about themselves, to avoid personal responsibility for their shitty lives, and as mentioned before, to unify around a common enemy. But sometimes it really isn't people's fault, at least not fully, that they have shitty lives. In those instances, it's still easier and more satisfying to find somebody to blame instead of blaming a system. If the problem is a person or a group, it's easier to think that one could punish or reform them. The highest level of sophistication is action informed by in-depth analysis, not blame, even of a system. Analyzing systems one often finds that they have evolved as a way to solve problems and have had to make some tradeoffs. The conditions that led to their evolution may have changed, and some of those tradeoffs may no longer be necessary or acceptable. This way of looking at things leads to tolerance, compassion and humility, instead of blaming, which leads to hatred. It also leads to a chance of actually being able to change things if one really understands the root of the problem. Otherwise one is likely to just cause more suffering without significant change.
Of course, if someone is molested as a child, they are more likely to want to blame child molesters for their problems than say, gypsies. So our early traumas influence our choice of scapegoats.
4. Where does the desire to severely punish and hurt people who are perceived as child molesters come from ?
Once we hate someone, we want to hurt them. It's a primal strategy that has served individuals and groups in survival situations and hence evolved, though hatred is not always about survival. On an individual level, the person who was molested and traumatized might grow up to hate all child molesters, not just the one(s) who molested her, at least until she is able to forgive. On a group level, hatred of child molesters is an immune response that has evolved to prevent free riders from destroying the group, and to keep the group competitive against other groups. Child molesters are a sort of free riders: they want the benefits of living in a group, without willing to pay the costs (e.g. reigning in their primal desires towards children). Or else being willing to do what is good for the group (not molesting the children), rather than what seems good to them in the moment (molesting the children).
5. Is the desire to severely punish the child molesters the same as the medieval desire to burn women who have gifts of healing and are less repressed than catholic priests with their sexuality?
Yes and no. Yes because they are both the same primal emotion for protecting either oneself or one's group from a perceived threat. But no, because child molesters actually hurt individuals and groups, whereas "witches" usually healed people, and only threatened the twisted egos of repressed priests.
6. Why hasn't the same level of violence been directed towards the catholic priests who recently almost certainly did molest boys?
I'm hypothesizing because males in most cultures are perceived as being disposable (also for evolutionary, not moral, reasons). If the priests had been molesting young girls, they would have been metaphorically hung by their testicles. Males are disposable in war, in having dangerous or stressful jobs that kill them at a higher rate then women, in not getting nearly as much emotional support from social workers as women, in being massacred and not cared about when they are(see Boka Haram), in not being cared about when they are genitally mutilated (aka circumcision), and in not being cared about as much when they are molested.
7. Why is the catholic church such a breeding ground for child molestation?
Secrecy, repression and loneliness. A free flow of information would discourage child molestation. Shame (from violating taboos) leads to secrecy for both victims, perpetrators, and the superiors of perpetrators who are thinking they are protecting the church from scandal. If people were able to freely express sexual desires with adults or even to have them (for adults or children) without shame and to either sublimate them into another creative activity (such as prayer) or masturbate, and were at least sometimes able to have sex with adults, they would be less motivated to have it with children, not always, but sometimes. I suspect that other times pedophilia is a particular kink or taste that some people have, and in those instances it may not help them even if they were able to have sex with adults. But surely there are cases where these men are not able to have sex with adults, and are able to have sex (albeit through rape) with children, and if only they could have sex with adults, the desire to have sex with children would be diminished. And maybe sometimes these men would be even satisfied with more intimate contact with adults that did not involve sex, to relieve their loneliness. Perhaps God can relieve some loneliness but not all?
8. Why do actual child molesters do what they do? What motivates them?
I suspect it's because they are lonely addicts, they have very little sources of non-destructive pleasure in their lives, and they are craving some sort of self-transcending pleasure that at least won't hurt them in the short run (like any addiction), and also because they are lured by the taboo/dangerous nature of child molestation (men are wired for adventure and novelty). The addict does not care about long term consequences to themselves, let alone to someone else. But before you think that you are somehow better than these poor folks, think about ways that you are addicted and seek short term pleasure despite long term costs to you or someone else.
9. How does rape of a pre-pubescent boys and girls evolve, if sex is mostly about reproduction and these children can't produce offspring?
I recently heard the following hypothesis from a criminologist, but I haven't checked the source: Early sexual action lowers the age of fertility (puberty). This would not give a male who raped a pre-pubescent child (male or female) any evolutionary selective advantage, but it would make the child be able to have offspring earlier, and hence give the group/tribe an advantage relative to other tribes where child molestation did not happen, as far as the number of offspring in the tribe. But sex for humans is not just about reproduction, it has other evolutionary and spiritual functions. That's why we also evolved immune responses to child molestation, as mentioned above. Because it also damages individuals' and hence groups' psychological and spiritual health (which should have evolutionary repercussions as well).
10. What should we do about child molesters and false accusations?
We should create conditions where people (including children) are getting their basic needs for connection and non-destructive pleasure met (see previous post). We should not have child molestation be a taboo, but talk about it openly to create better understanding. We should educate the children about it, instead of scaring them against boogeymen. If a child accuses a man of molestation, we need to investigate what happened without being motivated by panic and vengeance. We need to convince children that they are safe to tell the truth (even if a molester told them not to, or told them that bad things would happen to them or their family/friends if they told), and that they don't have the power to create drama or hurt someone just to get attention or because other needs are not being met (thus creating safety for men). We should provide healing (as opposed to punishment) for victims and perpetrators both if child molestation still happens. But resources for healing are not always available.
If a community can't provide healing, it should expel the child molester. The problem with that is that the child molester becomes someone else's problem and is likely to molest again unless they are incarcerated, which probably takes more resources than healing in the community.
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